Jericho
by dochar ar bith ann
Summary: Name Change! Au, set before the movie. Randall has a breakdown, at perhaps the worst possible place and time.
1. Breakdown

Hello!

This is a little plot bunny I've had rampaging madly about my mental garden for weeks now. I hope you enjoy it.

Summary: AU, set before the movie. Randall has what might be called an emotional breakdown... at the worst possible time and place.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Monsters, Inc., even if I might privately wish to. After all, if I did, there'd be a sequal!

On with the show!

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Walls Come Crashing Down

St. Ptero's day was a sort of holiday at Monsters, Inc.

the floors were open, but any moster who chose to was welcome to take the day off. And almost all of them did. The only exceptions were the few monsters who really cared about their numbers.

Sulley and Mike were there because they had a record to beat. And besides, what would they have been doing otherwise, playing charades?

And Randall, well, was Randall. Despite seeming to have a nasty cough, he'd shown up right on time, to the displeasure of all. He'd managed to terrorize Fungus into coming as well, and the four of them were the only monsters on the floor.

It was December, and Christmas was rapidly approaching. In fact, it was almost all the two top scarers could think about.

Sulley slipped out of his twenty-third door for the day, tired out from a morning's work and looking for an excuse to slow down. "So, you going to be spending any time with Celia's family over the holidays?" he asked Mike.

"Yup," Mike replied, grinning hugely, "The day before Christmas Eve, and then for another three days after boxing day. But the rest of the time I'm with my family."

"Isn't your aunt coming down from Fang Springs?" Sulley asked happy for his friend.

Mike punched a fresh door code into the keypad. "How do you know about that?" he asked curiously.

"I heard the message on the answering machine," Sulley replied with a shrug. Then he charged into the next door.

Mike leaned carelessly on the door frame, waiting for Sulley, and glanced over at Fungus, who was doing the same for his own own scarer at the station beside theirs. "How 'bout you? You got any Christmas plans?" he asked.

Fungus pushed his glasses further up his face. "I'm going to South Spookvale to visit my parents," he confided, glowing with excitement.

Sulley reappeared through the portal, slamming the door behind him and wiping his brow. "What was that?"

Just then Randall bolted out of his own door, and Fungus, giving a little gasp, quickly busied himself with bringing up a new one.

Mike, with a dirty glance at Randall, kindly explained for him. "Fungus is goin' to South Spookvale to see his parents."

Randall scowled and looked away, tapping his foot as the new door slid across the overhead tracks.

Sulley grinned. "Great! Got anybody else coming down?" he asked in his friendliest voice.

"My sister and her husband are bringing their new baby," Fungus said shyly.

Sulley and Mike vocalized their congrations, enthusiastic as only they could be. Fungus beamed with pride.

"I'm going to rent a winter cottage so my family can all meet up in Tentacle Lake," Sulley explained, taking a few minutes' break to chat. "There's about forty of us in total," he added with an embarrassed laugh.

"_Forty?_"Fungus asked in an awed voice.

He shrugged. "What can I say? We're Irish."

Randall, who had thus far not said a word since the last time he'd threatened Fungus, snarled in disgust. His eyes narrowed at their corners. Then he bolted through the next door.

Mike rolled his eyes, handing Sulley his cup of now-cold coffee. "What's he got against the Irish?" he demanded.

Fungus suddenly looked troubled. "Nothing. He's Irish himself," he said in a small voice, as if worried Randall would hear him.

"Really." Mike muttered.

Sulley scratched his kneck. "I guess "Boggs" is an Irish name," he said vaguely. Funny; he'd never really thought about Randall's ethnicity before. "Reptile" was all he'd really noticed.

Randall scuttled out of the door, the scowl etched even deeper into his face.

"Speak of the devil," Mike muttered under his breath.

Randall didn't seem to have heard him, and turned to Fungus, brushing distractedly at his fronds. "Get me coffee," he demanded. Fungus nodded frantically and scrambled over to the nearest coffee machine, about half the floor away.

Randall leaned against his assistant's desk, taking a slow breath. Sulley could understand him wanting to take a break; he'd been working full throttle since that morning, despite occasional coughing fits. Being the only scarer in the building seemed to bring out his competativeness.

"So, Randall," Sulley said conversationally, "What about you? You going to visit your parants?"

Randall seemed to stiffen, his jaw tensing. "No," he said thickly, eyes narrowing.

"Why not?" Mike asked, in a mildly challenging way.

It was perhaps the strangest reaction either of them had ever seen from Randall. The lizard monster's entire body froze, stiff and tense. His many hands shook slightly, and his fronds, too, quivered and lifted. An odd expression crept onto his face; His barely-visible nostrils flared and his eyes tightened at their corners, pupils darting from the wall, to the floor, to their confused faces.

Then, in one motion, he turned away and slithered towards the door, fading swiftly from view as he did so. A second or so later, the door leading to the locker rooms opened and closed with a bang.

Mike glanced warily at Sulley. "_What _was _that_ all about?"

Sulley had no answer; he could only blink in surprise.

Fungus trotted over from the coffee machine, having abandoned his mission for coffee at the first sign of Randall's... reaction. His pokey face grew sombre. "You shouldn't have asked him that," he murmered, chewing uncomfortably on his lip.

Something was wrong here. Sulley could tell.

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In the deserted locker room, Randall shifted back into view, breathing hard, and glanced frantically about him to assure himself that he was alone.

By now his entire frame was shaking, and his breath caught raggedly in his throat. His eyes had gone bloodshot, angry pink forming a corona around each stunningly emerald iris. His chest ached and heaved.

He felt as though he might collapse at any second, and his rapid, shaking, frantic movements brought him to the sink counter. He propped himself up on his bottom hands and tried to make the world settle.

Looking up, he caught a brief glance of his face in the mirror. Then he leaned over and vomited into the sink.

Whether it was the acid in his throat, or the effort of puking, or simply the horrible emotion that had erupted in his chest, he'd never know. But hated tears began to leak from his eyes.

He took a shaky, half-aware gulp of water, sputtering and coughing, and then stood in place, bowed over the counter, panting for breath, for what seemed like ages. He blinked and clawed at them, but tears continued to snake down his face.

And now he cursed himself, his weakness and stupidity. He hadn't had a... meltdown like that, for months.

He looked up again at his sullen red eyes and scoffed. Pathetic. Nothing had even _triggered _it. Just one meaningless little question about his...

He choked on a sob, pushing it back down his raw throat.

It didn't make sense. He could stand to do into children's bedrooms, creep through the toys their parents had bought for them, hear them cry for their mothers, and it was _never _like this...

But his rivals' questions had pulled a plug somewhere. And now, now all he could see was the empty bathtub, his own miserable, friendless, loveless, pathetic, bitter existance. Look down at his hands and he'd see the roughened fingers of a slimy, jealous, orphaned _creep_.

Part of his was screaming to get it together, get things under control, prove who was the _real_ weakling. But it didn't seem to matter anymore, not to the rest of him. Not compared to the mind-boggling, crushing emptiness he now felt.

_How can emptiness be crushing? It has no weight. Gravity can't exist inside a vacuum._

_Oh, shut it,_ his reflection seemed to snarl back at him.

Taking another long, shaky breath, he splashed water over his face and rubbed at his reddening eyes. That would have to be good enough; at least it hid the tearstreaks.

The sounds of conversation came to his ears, and then padding feet- far off but seeming to be closing in. Someone was coming. Taking a panicked breath, he cast about for anything that might reveal his presence and then swiftly vanished from sight. Then he scrambled for the back exit, the only hint of his presence a slightly blurred patch high in the air, the water that dripped off his face.

Still invisible, rubbing vainly at his leaking eyes, Randall darted through the hallways with unsteady, hurried steps. There was only one place he could think of going.

Reaching the end, or what appeared to be the end, of an obscure hallway, he revealed himself and fumbled for a few seconds with his tail before yanking on the hidden lever. The lair door creaked open before him.

He bolted down the darkened tunnel, pulling the door closed behind him. The tunnel was so long... it seemed as if he'd never reach the end. But at last he found himself in his familiar, quiet lair. The room he'd spent so many hours in, planning, assembling, working for something better. Something he felt sure now would never come.

He shivered, flopping over the work table onto the precious blueprints he'd agonized over for days. The only light in the room was from the tiny one-way window in the far corner, a weak sliver of December light.

Then the sobs thickened, rising up like sour wine, making his throat tighten and his body shake with effort.

Randall knew he had to pull himself together. He knew he couldn't stay in the lair all day, that soon enough he'd have to face up to the three monsters on floor F. Pick himself up from the rubble. Rebuild the walls that had come crashing down.

But the temptation to just lie there and cry was so strong... Give up, give in, curl up around the base of the half-finished Scream Extractor and just... just let it wash over him and cry until he fell asleep, and maybe it would look a little better when he awoke...

Some hope.

And so he slumped to the floor, and lay there, coughing and wheezing, desperately trying to choke back the gasping sobs. His whipcord body writhed across the cement floor.

_Pathetic._

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Sulley's brow furrowed, in confusion. "Fungus, what's wrong? I just asked-"

Fungus shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can't- I can't tell you."

"What?" Mike sputtered.

The little monster continued to shake his head, almost frantically. "I can't- but you shouldn't have asked-"

Mike grabbed him by the shoulders. "Fungus, what are you talking about?" he demanded.

Fungus quivered, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he repeated, "He made me promise. I found out by accident, and- he made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone," he finished with an anxious swallow.

"Randall made you promise?" Sulley asked.

A nod from the little assistant. Mike gave him a slight shake. "C'mon, Fungus, are you gonna do everything that jerk tells you for the rest of your life?" he demanded.

Fungus shivered, but said nothing.

If Sulley hadn't been so curious himself, he would have wanted to punch Mike in the face for trying to manipulate Fungus with such a shameless bait. But he did want to know what was going on, so he gave his friend a sharp glare. Mike let go of the assistant's shoulders, and Sulley nodded chastizingly. Then he turned to Fungus.

"Listen," he said gently, "I just want to know what's wrong." He shrugged. "I've been working with the guy for almost two years, and I've never seen him act like this."

Fungus drew in a breath, looking briefly to Mike, then up at Sulley in earnest. "I'd like to tell you. You-you'd understand things a lot better. But I _can't._ I promised. He'd kill me.

"Besides," he added, as if trying to convince himself, "It's none of y-your business anyway."

Sulley sighed. "Please, Fungus, we just want to know so we can avoid this happening again. I swear I won't tell him you told us."

"Yeah, we won't even act any different! He'll never know!" Mike exclaimed, picking up where Sulley left off.

Fungus shook his head, looking at the ground. "But if you don't act any different then what's the point?" He said in a low murmur. Then he looked up at them. "Alright, I'll tell you. But you really mustn't let him know. Just- just think about it and don't talk about his parents ever again."

Mike looked mildly surprised, but it only confirmed Sulley's theory- that it had something vital to do with Randall's family. He bit his lip slightly, focussing attentively on Fungus.

The bespectacled monster took a deep breath. "Randall's an orphan," he said in a hushed tone.

Sulley's mouth fell open slightly. Mike's one eye opened very wide.

"You're surprised. He doesn't want anybody to know. I didn't even know until about a month ago," Fungus added, an echo of ruefull unease in his voice.

"How'd you find out?" Mike asked cautiously.

"I, um, He- got me to help him look for something in his college notes and I found a registration form that said he was a ward of the state."

Mike looked mildly confused. "So is that why he.." He gestured to the hallway door through which Randall had fled.

Fungus nodded. "It wasn't a good question. He's never even met his parents. They left him on the orphanage doorstep."

Sulley winced slightly, surprise robbing him of his voice. He'd never have imagined. And Randall, who he'd always thought to be such a nasty creep- had he simply misjudged him? Was his proud, diffident, caustic personality merely the result of years of...who knew?

He'd never though of Randall as damaged. But perhaps he should have known.

It expalined his reaction to the questions. How he'd frozen, how his face had tightened with what Sulley now recognized as agony. As hurt. And then...

Where was he now? Was he okay? Hurriedly he cleared his throat. "Uh, Fungus, maybe... you'd better go and see if he's..." he trailed off. He couldn't think of an ending to that sentance that wouldn't have been patronizing, that wouldn't have incensed and embarrased Randall hugely had he been there. Since suddenly the idea of joking about him behind his back seemed unbearably wrong.

Besides, Fungus seemed to get the idea. He glanced anxiously at the hallway doors. "Oh. Right. I'll, um, bring him his coffee," he said nervously, glancing at the rapidly-cooling mug in his hand.

Sulley nodded. "Er-good idea."

Mike didn't seem to have gotten the message. "You really think coffee's gonna be a big help right now?" he asked.

A smile stretched Fungus's mouth slightly. "You don't know Randall very well. Coffee _always_ helps." Then he turned and trotted away.

A few long seconds later the double doors leading to the hallway closed with a soft _clunch_, and the floor was silent. Wordlessly, Sulley and Mike glanced warily at one another.

Then Mike typed in the code for a new door, and they reutrned silently to their work, though neither of them had their mind on the job.

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Fungus padded anxiously down the hall. The most obvious option was the locker room; Randall often splashed water on his face when he was particularly stressed. It was a coping method.

Approaching the locker room entrance, he paused to listen. Yes, there it was- the faint sound of running water. Taking a deep breath, he made his way inside.

The faint sound was gone, the room deserted. Fungus glanced about and scratched his chin, puzzled. Then he padded over to the sink counter, extending his legs fully to reach it.

The sink was still wet. Randall must have heard him coming. Turning, he shifted the coffee to his free hand. There was only one other place he could think of to look.

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Well, there you have it, folks! Second chapter shoud be up in not too too long. Rehearsals are crazy right now in the play I'm in, but I'll get to work on it this weekend.

Please review! Feedback is always, always appreciated.

With love,

Till My Head Falls Off


	2. I Don't Care

Hello again! Sorry that took so long. Second installment. I stuck in some song lyrics- Higher Than Them, a song I'm writing with the help of my best buddy. Special thanks to her- xxFallOutGirlxx, if you ever read this, you are the shizz!

I own nothing except most of the song and the word "Ptero", which somebody else can have for all I care.

Warning- some swearing in this chapter. Nothing really serious, but not suitable for impressionable young'uns.

On with the show!

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_"Harsh eyes glaring to your face_

_Tired eyes wishing they saw what you see_

_I'd give an arm to leave your mark_

_Wipe the dirt from their eyes_

_Let them see I'm the one who deserves it_

_Sharpening the rusty axe_

_Manage to ignore the facts_

_Climb above the cut-down trees_

_And make them all look up at me_

_I'd kill myself before I'd show you_

_Just one facet of this pain_

_The only time when I feel clean_

_Is standing in the pouring rain_

_Sharpening the rusty axe_

_Manage to ignore the facts_

_Climb above the cut-down trees_

_Make them all look up at me_

_In all their eyes I'm some kind of demon_

_And you're my father's favourite son_

_If Othello had been perfect_

_And Iego hadn't won._

_Sharpening the rusty axe_

_Manage to ignore the facts_

_Climb above the cut-down trees_

_And make them all look up at me_

_And now it's a game of you or me_

_One wins and one falls; who's it gonna be?_

_You've won the crowd over with your sheepish grin_

_My sandpaper attitude has no effect_

_Sharpening the rusty axe_

_Manage to ignore the facts_

_Climb above the cut-down trees_

_Yeah, I'm higher than them all_

_I know it's all wrong, but the choice isn't mine_

_The one who controls me, he molds me like clay_

_Tells me, 'son, don't disappoint me' _

_I'm no son of his_

_Don't I wish_

_Trying to ignore the facts_

_Yeah, I'm higher than them all."_

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It was almost an hour before they returned.

Alone on the floor, Sulley and Mike noticed them the minute the door opened.

Randall looked like a monster who'd just had a near-death experience. His face was drawn and tired, his eyes sullen, his frame hunched, his motions shaky. He was oddly pale.

Beside him, Fungus cast them a long look. _Don't say anything_, it seemed to say.

The two best friends turned away rapidly and carried on with their work, but their eyes followed Randall almost continuously. They couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before Randall noticed their stares. He sneered, and Sulley could see the hurt again in his eyes.

"What're you staring at?" Randall snapped, lip twitching. "Ain't you two got scaring to do?" The tension is his face was readable; he was getting close to the breaking point again. His Brooklyn accent was more noticable than before. _Brooklyn Irish_, Sulley though distantly.

Then he looked away, abashed. Could the lizard monster tell he knew? Or was it just an attempt to cling to what Randall would be sure was rapidly slipping away- his pride? Sulley couldn't tell.

Randall thrust open a door, frustration etched on his face. When at last he bolted out again, his scream canister, Sulley noticed with shock, was only half full.

Randall glanced at it, and his expression became more tense, but he siad nothing. His eyes flashed to Sulley, and the bigger monster quickly busied himself with the next door.

The afternoon dragged on, getting no better as it proceeded. Neither Sulley nor Mike had their minds on their job, but it was nothing compared to what was happening over at the station next to theirs.

Randall was not having a good day. Each canister seemed to come out with less than the last, and he exited each door he was more visibly shaky and exhausted than when he'd entered it. His numbers lagged behind theirs.

Sulley had just getting out of his fifty-fourth or forty-eighth or something door when he percieved a harsh sound comming from the previously-silent scare floor. Coughing. He slammed the door behind him and looked around.

Randall was doubled up, leaning heavily on Fungus's desk, his entire frame shaking with rough coughs. Beside him stood Fungus, looking concerned but waiting patiently for the fit to end. It was worse than the other brief fits he'd had that day.

The sound of it made Sulley wince, and he couldn't help but keep staring. Randall's head was down- he probably hadn't noticed them watching.

Mike was staring as well. Aside from the coughs, the floor was totally silent.

Fungus shot them a pointed look, one that Sulley had some trouble deciphering. Annoyance, and the suggestion that there was something he needed to do. Show some concern, maybe...?

Sulley cleared his throat slightly. "Uh, Randall, you okay?" he asked weakly.

Randall tilted his head up and glared at them. "I'm fine," he spat, his breathing heavy.

Sulley could see from Fungus's face that he'd done the wrong thing. Randall seemed even angrier now. Feeling tremendously stupid, he hurriedly turned to Mike, nudging him. "Can I have another door?"

Mike snapped out of his staring reverie. "Oh, yeah, sure..." he fumbled the new key card into the slot.

Through four or five more doors, Sulley had to wonder. Why hadn't he ever wondered _why_ Randall was so... unfriendly? Hadn't he realized that no emotionally healthy person would be like that? Or had he simply never cared enough to notice?

Back on the floor, he paused again for a rest, hoping to collect his thoughts. But again, as the other scarer completed scare after shaky scare, he couldn't keep his gaze from creeping to Randall. Randall, who had nothing to go home to this Christmas. And he'd never realized.

As he watched, a new door was lowered down into Randall's station. The lizard monster lowered his head, breathing through bared teeth as he prepared to charge though.

Then, without warning, he slumped, and folded limply to the floor.

Sulley let out a yell- half surprise, half getting the others' attention. But they'd already noticed. Fungus, without a word, dropped his clipboard without ceremony on the floor, rushing over to his collapsed scare partener.

Fungus shifted the unconcsious form slightly, accessing his kneck and checking his pulse. Then he lowered his ear to Randall's muzzle and listened for breathing. There was a tense, silent moment, and then Sulley caught the slight rise and fall of the lizard monster's chest. He let out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding.

Fungus wiped his brow. "He's breathing. Just unconsious. Oh, Jeez, I knew it was only a matter of time 'til he'd collapse..."

Sulley approached him cautiously. "What do you mean?" he asked, though even as he said it he noticed the lines under the fallen lizard monster's eyes. Randall hadn't been sleeping.

Fungus shrugged slightly, preoccupied wih shifting Randall into a more comfortable position. "He barely gets any sleep. He's to busy working on..." He paused, chewing his lip, as if he'd said too much. "This... thing he's making. I'm not, er, really supposed to say." He glanced nervously at Randall, but the reptile's eyes were still closed, his face blank.

Sulley didn't press the point. It was enough to make him wonder waht would be more important than decent sleep, but Randall had a right to some privacy. Besides, it wasn't like what had happened earlier- the fact that he was exhausted was enough of an explanation. Mike looked curious, or suspicious, but he seemed to get the idea, and didn't enquire further.

Fungus gingerly got to his feet, seemingly still anxious to take the conversation in a different direction. "Anyways, he's been surviving off coffee the last little while... I figured it was only a matter of time until he just passed out."

"Think we should wake him up?" Mike asked hesitantly.

Fungus frowned. "I'd better. I hate to disturb him now that he's actually getting some sleep, but he'll k-kill me if I don't. Besides, maybe he'll slow down a bit after this." Seeming to have made up his mind, he trotted over to the coffee machine and retrieved a bag of coffee beans.

"What are you doing?" Mike asked.

Fungus knelt down, holding the bag before Randall's face. "I figured coffee would be the thing that'd wake him up fastest," he explained.

Despite the seriousnesness of the situation, Sulley had to smile.

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The first thing Randall noticed was the pungeant aroma of coffee.

The second thing was a splitting headache. Unwittingly, he let out a small groan.

Raising his head, he felt a sharp pain in his neck. Wincing, he gingerly raised a hand to the twinging spot.

"Are you alright?" asked a nervous, hushed voice.

His eyes flew open. For an instant, everything was blurred, and then...

"_Fungus?_"

Fungus swallowed. For some reason, he was holding what appeared to be a bag of raw coffee beans.

Randall blinked and looked about him, trying to figure out what had happened.

"You sorta passed out," said a highish, slightly nasal voice, from somewhere to his right. He recognized the voice, and knew who it was even before he looked. Wazowski. With Sullivan beside him. The two of them just stood there, staring at him.

The odd thing, one very disconnected part of his brain noticed, was that their stares were devoid of the usual distain, dislike, or distrust he was so used to seeing from them. In fact, they seemed almost... concerned.

No way. He shook himself mentally. What a ridiculous thought.

Then Wazowski's comment sunk in. Passed out...?

Finally, the events of the day began locking into his memory. Saint Ptero's. Waking up feeling like he wanted to die. Work. Alone on the floor apart from his arch-rivals. His little breakdown...

Oh, shit. In front of Sullivan, too.

Fungus offered him a hand, and he took it, too muddled to refuse it as he usually might. He'd felt weird and exhausted all day. As if any second he might throw up, or collapse, or burts into tears. And now he'd done all three, at some point.

Standing, he took a deep breath, attempting to clear his head.

Sullivan gave him an odd look. "You okay?"

He sneered. Just what those two would want- another reason to laugh. To hear that he couldn't take it all. "I'm _fine_," he spat, for the second time that day.

Randall focused on the door ahead of him. There'd be a child behind it, one who was frightened by snakes, lizards, creepy-crawlies like him. Scaly freaks.

His head was pounding. His legs felt weak and shaky. Teeth bared, breathing ragged, he charged through the door.

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Once he was through the portal, the two friends exchanged glances.

"What is _with_ him today?" Mike asked weakly. Despite the seemingly unsympathetic words, there was more concern in his voice than annoyance.

Sulley had no answer that Mike wouldn't already know. He turned to his assistant.

"Why didn't we ever realize?"

Mike shrugged, looking lost. "He never told anybody. How could we know?"

Sulley shook his head. "No, I mean..." He struggled for a way to put his emotion into words. "About him in general. How could somebody who acts like him have been happy?"

Mike was about to answer when the door Randall had disappeared though seconds before burst open again.

Panting and shaking, Randall slammed the door closed. Sulley hadn't heard a scream.

"Dud door," he explained weakly, leaning his back against the door station. "No kid inside."

Sulley was fairly sure he was lying, but there was no good in pointing it out.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mike asked carefully.

For the second time that day Randall stiffened, and his face twisted into a harsh, injured scowl. He was shaking again.

"Alright!" he spat, leaping from the door frame, "No, I'm not okay! I'm not! Alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?" His intensely green eyes were wild, and his entire frame heaved with emotion.

Sulley's eyes widened. Randall had cracked.

Mike looked shocked. "I just-"

"Yeah, you just wanted somethin' to laugh about? Ha ha. Real funny." Each syllable sounded clipped and strained through his bared teeth. The sullen redness was back in his eyes.

Sulley instantly started to deny it, and he could hear Mike do the same. But Randall wasn't listening. "Look, just leave me alone, okay?" he demanded harshly.

Sulley shut himself up. He didn't know what he could say to make this any better. There probably was nothing. He'd never felt so sorry for anyone.

Randall cast wide eyes about the room, as if searching for something to focus on. Then his burning gaze settled back on them. "Will ya stop _lookin' _at me like that?" he demanded frantically.

Mike was not good at concealing things. "Like what?" he asked, playing dumb.

Randall's eyes opened even wider than before. "You..." he trailed off. Then he turned in a flash, rounding on Fungus.

"You told them, didn't you?" he asked the little assistant in a desperate hiss.

Fungus looked up at him, shaking from head to foot. "N-no, I- I didn't, I-"

Randall sneered. "_N-no, I-I-_" he mimicked, the looked on his face even more horrible than the tone in his voice. "Stop stuttering like an idiot and tell me the truth! _Did you tell them_?" His every motion betrayed a horrified urgency.

Fungus looked as if he were about to have a heart attack. "I-I..." He took a gasping breath, his reversed knees collapsing suddenly underneath him. "I didn't want to! I just though-"

Randall cut him off. "No. You know what? I don't care what you thought." Mouth twisted into a line, he turned on his heel, hands curling and uncurling like anxious butterflies. "I can't trust anybody around here, can I?" he asked mutedly, a brief lapse in his rage.

Fungus was almost at the point of sobbing by now. "I'm sorry; I just-"

Randall whipped round to face him, whole body tense. "Yeah, you j_ust _stabbed me in the back," he spat, "Just _shut_ _up!_"

Sulley, his composure barely intact, tried to come to Fungus' aid. "It's our fault-"

He let out a short, hurt breath. "Yeah, I bet it was, wasn't it, Sullivan? Real funny, eh? Hilarious. Bet you weren't even surprised. _I mean we all knew the scaly, evil creep had to be screwed up somehow_. Great joke, too."

Now it was Mike's turn to start to protest, but once more, Randall cut him off. "Yeah, go ahead, laugh about it. I don't care any more." He started to turn away, then paused, face contorting in bitter rage.

"Yeah- you know what? Screw it. I don't care." He shrugged his shoulders, his face going blank in a twisted semblance of calm. "Hell with Waternoose, Hell with the machine- I don't give a shit. I'm leaving." He turned in one whipcord motion and headed for the door.

Fungus let out a small squeak.

The lizard monster twisted round and glared in his direction. "Yeah, that's right, I'm leavin'. Ain't that great? You're all getting rid of me! Forever!"

Then he turned tail and fled.

His last steps towards the door seemed in slow motion. Somewhere in himself, Sulley could still feel the faint certainty that things would be okay. Somebody would say something, he knew, and Randall would stop, think it over rationally, turn around.

But he didn't.

The door closed with a bang.

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Well, ther you go. Please review- I really do need the feedback. Honestly, don't you want to help my writing suck a little less by leaving your opinions?

I love you all!

Till My head Falls Off


	3. Pathetic Fallacy

Hello again! The computer seems to have deleted a chunk of this, so I was in a rush to do it again and finish it up, so apologies if it's short or abrupt. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Say it with me now!

On with the show!

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There was silence on the scare floor.

After what seemed like an eternity, Mike took a deep breath. "Ya think... somebody should go and get him?" He asked, in a tone of voice that suggested it wasn't going to be him.

Fungus nodded shakily. "I don't know if he'll listen to me..." He trailed off, breathing hard, and glanced nervously at the door. "But I- I guess I'd better."

Sulley followed his gaze, his chest aching. He couldn't believe it. Randall was gone.

_What's he going to do now? Quit? Move away? Start a new life in another town, or just get another job someplace in the city?_

_Does he even have a plan?_

_It's raining out. Reptiles don't like the cold. He'll freeze. _

A whole cloud of negative emotions seemed to be building up in Sulley's chest. Worry and fear. What if he got hurt or sick or...

_Or ran out of options? Or killed himself?_

Horror at the full extent of everything he'd never seen about the lizard monster. Anger at Randall, for never telling anyone and overworking himself untill he exploded. Anger at himself, for never realizing.

He had to do something.

Fungus had just opened the door. Taking a deep breath, he prepared to leave.

"Wait!"

Fungus flinched in place, and hesitantly turned around.

Sulley held out a hand. "I'll go. I'll go find him."

Fungus looked too shocked to speak.

"Maybe he'll listen to me," Sulley offered. "It's worth a try."

Fungus nodded hesitantly. "Okay... just please, don't..."

"I won't say anything stupid," Sulley promised. Then he waved distractedly to Mike and slipped hurriedly out the door.

The hallways were almost deafeningly quiet. He could hear nothing but the sound of his feet and his heavy, laboured breathing.

There. A janitor's exit. Randall would have left by the first route possible, wouldn't he have...?

He wrenched it open, half-charging, half-tumbling into the rainy parking lot.

It was cold. Water slid in cold droplets through his fur, drawing it down into trailing mats. He peered out into the grey gloom, searching for a tell-tale splash of purple.

He didn't think he'd ever left the building through this door before. Things looked unfamiliar from this angle. He was half-tempted to call out, but he had a feeling Randall wouldn't answer, so he simply moved forward into the dull afternoon.

There- was that a little flame of lilac in amongst the grey?

He took another step forward, and it was gone. But now he knew what direction to go in. With renewed resolve he fixed upon the spot and padded onward towards the almost- empty parking lot.

There were only perhaps two cars in this part of the lot, and he'd spotted the splash of purple near the old blue city car, rather than the red truck. Had he just spotted Randall as he left, or was he still there?

He crept forward, touching gently against the rusty back of the blue car, and peered around its corner.

"Hello, Sullivan."

Randall hadn't turned. He was hunched, almost curled, against the car's side, his back to Sulley. His fronds were limp, dripping water down his back. His voice had sounded... not choked, but strained.

"How did you know..." Sulley didn't need to finish the question. He hadn't made a sound approaching, at least not compared to the rain.

Randall tapped the base of his jaw. "Heat sensors," he said in a thin voice.

"Oh," Sulley murmered.

The lizard monster turned to face him, readjusting his hunched position. "What are you doin' out here, Sullivan?" he asked tiredly. Again, the redness in his eyes.

Sulley searched for a way to explain himself. "I-" He paused. He couldn't lie about it. "Look, I wanted to see if there was any way I could convince you to come back."

Randall was silent for several long minutes. Then he swallowed. "I thought as much."

Silence. Sulley looked at Randall; Randall looked at the ground.

"You know, it wasn't Fungus's fault," Sulley said at last, "We made him tell us."

"I know."

Sulley felt as if he'd been shot down. He tried again. "I'm sorry-"

Randall let out a sharp breath. "I don't want to hear it."

More silence.

"Why did you think we'd be happy?"

Randall looked up in badly-hidden surprise. "You... you all hate me! I thought you'd-" his voice strained and he coughed into his hand. "-I though you'd be glad to get rid of me!"

A day ago, Sulley would have been. Now... "It's not like that," he said desperately.

"Isn't it?" came Randall's bitter reply.

The larger monster struggled for something to say. He could think of nothing.

"I don't blame you for hating me, though," Randall muttered, "I'd hate me too."

Sulley shook his head, even though Randall was still looking at the ground. "I don't hate you." Noticing the coldly disbelieving look on Randall's face, he decided to be honest. "I mean, you can be a pain sometimes," he admitted, "but I never _hated_ you." He wished Randall would look up, and see the sencerity on his face.

Randall rested his head on his hand. "Well you should."

Sulley swallowed. Too much was wrong here- nobody should have had to feel that way about themselves. "I don't think so."

The lizard monster scoffed humourlessly, looking up at Sulley with a sort of strangled intensity. "And what do you know?" he spat. "What do you know about me?"

Sulley hesitated. "I- I've worked with you for years..."

"No. Not with me. Against me. And-" he took a funny sort of choking breath. "-When in all that time have we ever been on good terms? I'm your enemy. You don't even need a _reason_ to hate me."

It was a harsh view of the world, Sulley realized, but not an illogical one. "What about Fungus?" He asked at last. _Fungus cares about you. Don't try to deny it._

Randall's fronds dipped visibly, as if Sulley's point had caught him unawares. "Fungus only tolerates me because I tolerate him," he said dully, looking at the ground. "He's a pest. A considerate pest, maybe, but still a pest. And I'm a jerk. It works."

Sulley couldn't help but feel a little defensive for Fungus' sake. But he had to admit, the little assistant's nervous, roundabout manner would irritate him after a while. And Randall looked so.. so pathetic right now that it was hard to be angry at him. He felt like a parent, trying to be understanding.

_Something he never had._

Sulley took a breath. "Why didn't you... If you thought people hated you... why didn't you try to be nicer?" The question sounded ridiculous and childish the second it was out of his mouth. But Randall seemed not to have noticed.

His eyes widened almost imperceptably, and he looked up at Sulley, a hardened smirk twisting at his mouth. "What, more like you?"

Sulley searched for words. "Uh..."

Randall's gaze fell back on the ground. "Tried that," he said softly.

Sulley felt a pang of something caught between horror and agonizing pity, but he forced it to take backstage to the easier-to-take surprise and confusion. "Here at Monsters, Inc...?"

Still staring at the wet cement, Randall shook his head. The motion ran unsteadily through his body. "Long time ago," he said in the same tiny voice. He suddenly looked incredibly vulnerable, like a little child, ashamed of being afraid.

Sulley no longer felt embarrased to see him like this. It had gone too far for that. Now all that was left of the crippling awkwardness was an unsure feeling, a fear that he'd say the wrong thing. "What happened?" he asked hesitantly.

The little child now had a jaded weariness in his eyes, too wounded and bitter to be so young. He swallowed and closed his eyes. The two motions said more about it than any words could.

Sulley took a deep breath. His chest ached. He was beginning to feel numb.

"How do you do it?" Randall asked weakly, at last. His voice hinted at desperation.

Sulley's brows knitted. "Do what...?"

Randall sighed, hugging himself to keep out the cold. "You... people _like_ you. They never try to- to take advantage of you or call you weak or..." he trailed of, swallowing hard. "They respect you."

Sulley began to shake his head. Randall's whole perception of other people- it was skewed. Skewed by years of horrible treatment and emotional torture until he couldn't understand the idea of respecting someone without fearing them.

"It's not some trick," Sulley told him, eyes pinching with pity. "People aren't like that here. You don't have to treat them badly just so they won't try to hurt you. You just have to be friendly, and they'll treat you the same way."

Randall looked up at him from the corner of his eye. "Really?"

Sulley nodded. "Almost everybody will. People are better than you think."

There was a thin sigh from Randall. "Maybe you're right. I dunno."

"Look, I... I think I have an idea how it feels. People have treated me bad too. You start to expect it. But... people are good here. You just have to give them a chance." Before, his advice had been general- the "you" had been indefinite, To Whomever It May Apply. Now it meant him, Randall, specifically, and no-one else. Maybe it was too much, and Randall would be angry- he could just hear the lizard monster's words. _Don't tell me what to do! Don't try to act like you know how to fix it, how it feels! Because you don't! Everything's perfect for you. You can't possibly know!_

He could imagine it perfectly. But, he realized with sudden clarity, he wasn't going to help him by tiptoeing round his fragile temper. There were things Randall needed to hear, right now. Maybe when he calmed down, he'd think about them. Sulley took a deep breath.

"It might mean swallowing your pride a little. You have to be willing to care about them, and ask for help when you need it. And you need to trust them," he finished.

Randall was still, looking down at the pavement, and for a moment, Sulley could almost sense the explosion approaching.

Then the lizard monster sighed, shoulders sagging as if they had a great weight on them. "It's really not pride, Sullivan. It's a last-ditch attempt at feeling like I'm in control."

Sulley swallowed, releived. "Can you try to...?"

Randall chewed his lip. "Yeah, I can try, I guess. But that's why I gotta leave. It's too late here. Everybody already knows I'm a creep. Can't act different now; it'd only freak them out."

"They'd accept it eventually. And besides, you could be gradual about it. You know, so they'd never really notice a sudden change," Sulley suggested.

Silence. Randall shivered slightly, his gaze focused on the wet pavement.

"Randall?" Sulley asked at last.

"I still have to get out. There's more to it than that."

Sulley paused. There was a cold quality to the words, something almost sinister. "What do you mean?" he asked warily.

Randall looked up at him, his jaw set. "Waternoose."

"What about him?" Sulley asked, increasingly unsettled. He had no idea where this was heading.

Randall paused, looking over his shoulder to the hulking form of Monsters, incorperated. Then his gaze, suddenly dry and weary, returned to Sulley, and he sighed, shaking his head. "I suppose you're going to want me to explain everything," he said dully.

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Okay, so that ending was bad. Blame my compy. Unless of course you're gonna review, in which case, I want to hear exactly what I did wrong. Knowing what I did right would be nice too, but it can take second.

Lovin' you all!

Till My Head Falls Off


	4. Confession and Solution

Back at last! Sorry this chapter took so long to write; I got a bit stuck at one point. I'm afraid I haven't been able, plot-wise, to add any action. It's all about emotion right now.

Thanks, of course, to my wonderful reviewers.

Disclaimer: I have never owned any of these characters, settings or ideas, and I likely never will.

On with the show!

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Sulley's brow knitted, this time in confusion. "Uh... I guess so."

Randall put a hand to his brow. "I guess it doesn't matter. Okay- from the beginning." He rose in one shaky motion to his feet, and leaned against the car's rusting door. "I'm a mechanic. Did you know that, Sullivan?"

Sulley shook his head. He hadn't known- most scarers had almost no other training. But now he could just see the lizard monster bent over some hulking engine, wrench in one hand, screwdriver in another, muttering to himself in complex technical vocabulary as he fitted parts.

Randall had mentioned something about a machine during his little rant...

The smaller monster stared into the gloom of the afternoon. "You didn't- but Waternoose did. He knew everything about me, actually."

"About your parents?" Sulley asked cautiously.

"Yeah, about them. And my interest in scream technology. Everything." He grinned wryly. "Right down to my, er, perfectionist tendencies and overreliance on coffee, I think." He scoffed.

Sulley hadn't really noticed Randall ever being a perfectionist, but it also didn't surprise him. He nodded, showing he was listening.

Randall's lips tightened over impossibly sharp teeth. "Anyway, he came to me about two months ago with a project. He said it was to solve the scream shortage, and that if I completed it, he'd promote me to an executive position when the company started booming." He swallowed. "He wanted me to- to design and build something called a "Scream Extractor". The general idea was that it would be a sort of vacuum for screams- strap one child in, and it'd suck a lifetime of screams out of them. He gave me some concept notes- the principals were all sound; he just wanted me to put it all together in a way that would actually work."

Sulley bit his lip. Something huge had been going on here, he could feel it. Not just the words, but the strained and yet gushing way he spoke, as if this were some huge secret he'd been holding in, and now it was spilling out. It unnerved him- the whole lot of it. Just the thought of 'strapping in' a toxic human child sent chills up his spine. "Wouldn't that be risky?" he asked.

Randall grinned again, tight-lipped and harsh. "No. That's the big secret, see. Kids aren't toxic."

Sulley withdrew a quick breath. Either Randall was crazy, which was becoming more and more likely, or it was all true. He wasn't sure what to think.

Randall saw his unsure look. "You don't have to believe it if you don't want. I'm in more shit than you could imagine either way. That's one of the reasons I'm leaving."

"No, I believe you," Sulley said hurriedly. It wasn't really true; a lifetime of having it drilled into his brian that children were deadly was a hard thing to ignore. But he'd worry about that later. "But, erm... How come it's a secret?"

Randall scoffed. "Blame the Waternoose line. They've been keeping that locked up for years. Waternoose told me it was to keep our worlds seperate, but I don't think that's all there is to it."

Again, Sulley wasn't sure what to think. Waternoose had always seemed so trustworthy to him. Corperate coverups didn't seem like his style. "So, he, uh, told you?"

Randall nodded. "Using the extractor would involve bringing human children into our world. Controlled, of course, so they didn't escape, but still, he had to tell me." He swallowed. "I-I didn't wanna do it. The whole thing seemed wrong."

"What do you mean?" Sulley asked. But even as he said it, words welled up in his head- 'a lifetime of screams'... _did that mean_...

Randall smirked, quite humourlessly. "You've figured it out."

"When you said 'a lifetime'... What would it do to them?" he asked, with more of a quaver in his voice than he'd intended.

"I don't know," Randall murmered, shaking his head. "It was one of the first things I asked. Waternoose didn't know either. He said it was too early; that we wouldn't know until I'd build a prototype we could test." He shivered, staring down at the concrete. Shadows hung over his eyes, dulling their normally intense colour. "He said it didn't matter, they were only animals anyway. And I guess that's how most people think of them. But ain't that one of the first things you learn in training, that they're just as smart as we are?"

Sulley swallowed. "_Our _Waternoose? Told you that?"

"_Your_ Waternoose, you mean," Randall muttered, a note of thick, dark bitterness in his voice. "He doesn't treat the rest of us like he treats you."

Sulley shook his head, sending tiny droplets of water soaring off his sopping hair. "I... I still can't believe he'd..." He trailed off, brows knit, still shaking his head with disbelief.

Randall was shaking more often now. Shivers ran through his body like ripples over a pond. "That's what I thought too. I figured, he's such a good boss, he wouldn't be involved in anything really bad, right?" His voice hit a higher, more desperate pitch, almost a falsetto, and he wrapped his arms around his torso. "So how bad could it be?"

Sulley drew in a hesitant breath. "You agreed to help him, didn't you?" he asked with dread, though he was sure of the answer already.

Randall seemed to explode. "What was I _supposed_ to do?" he cried desperately, rearing up to his full hight. His emerald eyes bored into Sulley's, brimming with pent-up rage. His hands made wild, jerking spider-gestures in the air. "He came to _me_, nobody else, _me_! He said I was the only one who could- Who could ever make this thing, _I_ was the one with the training-" He paused and seemed to deflate, gaze dropping, voice choked. "I- I just thought- maybe if I did this people would know I was worth something, and they might-" He stopped abruptly, shivering, and turned away. There was a silence.

"It's almost finished," Randall said at last, in a thin voice, almost to himself rather than Sulley. "I made Fungus help me. I dragged him in with me. In a week's time I have to take a kid from her room as a test subject. We've already picked out the kid." He bowed his head. "Now tell me you don't hate me."

Sulley shivered. He suddenly felt ice-cold. The rain had long ago soaked him to the skin, and his paws were beginning to go numb. He could only imagine how cold Randall was. "No... No, I still don't hate you. You made a mistake, that's all." He searched for something else to say that would help the situation. "For perfectly understandable reasons. I don't think anyone could blame you if they knew..."

Sulley wasn't sure why he wasn't wordless with shock. His boss, who'd been like a second father to him, was involved in a completely amoral scandal, and a monster he'd worked with for almost two years was playing a central part in it. Up till very recently, he'd been planning to kidnap a human in order to test a machine, the lasting effects of which he didn't know. And yet all Sulley could manage too feel was a sort of impressed surprise that Randall wasn't willing to go through with it anymore. Perhaps he was simply numb to it all by now, and it'd hit him with a horrifying bang later on.

"They'd have to know my whole life's been pathetic to not hate me, is that it?" Randall muttered.

"That's... not what I meant," Sulley lied. He hadn't thought about it like that, but really, it was true. Even at his most vulnerable, Randall still had a harsh but canny grasp of the world around him.

The lizard monster said nothing.

Sulley shivered. "So I guess you're leaving?"

"Well what else I am supposed to do?" Randall demanded, a hint of desperation in his voice. "I gotta get out. Out of all of it." An injured scowl formed on his lips. His hands balled into fists of frustration, pressing against the car door. "I don't want any more reasons to hate myself."

"Where will you go?" Sulley asked weakly. It seemed like he was too late to stop Randall's leaving.

Randall swallowed. "Uh... I was thinking Clawville... They say the scaly population's high there, 'cuz there's not so much speciesism." He shrugged weakly.

Sulley had forgotten about speciesism. Reptile rights had been established as equal to all others not too long ago, but descrimination was still everywhere. Even Mike used the odd special slur now and then, and Sulley had never considered it a big deal. But now he could see how much damage it would do, especially to a lizard monster who wasn't liked to begin with.

"Do you have anything planned?" Sulley didn't expect a positive answer. He had a strong, sinking feeling that Randall was making it up as he went.

Randall shook his head.

Well, no harm in one last try, Sulley decided. "Well- why don't you stay here- just until you can set up a place to stay when you get there?" He suggested, in a voice that sounded pathetically hopeful.

The lizard monster sighed. "I think it's do or die right now , Sullivan," he said sadly.

Sulley's shoulders slumped in defeat. Then a thought came to him, sudden and out of the blue. _Maybe..._ It'd be worth a try...

"You don't want Waternoose's plan to work, right?" he asked carefully. "You don't want any huamns to die?"

Randall let out a wounded scoff. "What do you think?"

Sulley played his ace. "Well if you just leave, Waternoose will hire somebody else to finish the machine, won't he? And the person he hires might not have your conscience. What if he never gets caught, and it gets finished and tested and it works? What then, will he be using this thing in secret on hundreds of kids, or will he mass-market it and make it look like it's a good thing?"

Randall's gaze darted to Sulley, and his lips pressed into a thin, wry line. "Smart, Sullivan. And you didn't even have to say I wouldn't get credit for it. What a perfect guilt trip."

Sulley floundered for a justification.

Ignoring his efforts, Randall stared at the ground and let out a long, thin sigh. "You're right, though. I guess."

"...Oh," Sulley murmered, shocked.

Randall wiped a hand over his rain-slicked brow, shivering again. "So... what should I _do_?" he asked hopelessly.

The larger monster searched for an answer. "Go to the CDA," he said at last, thinking up a decent course of action. "Mike's told me how this stuff works; if you agree to testify against somebody like Waternoose they'd let you off, pretty much. Besides, you haven't done anything illegal yet, really. You just made the machine, you didn't test it out yet."

Sulley could barely believe what he'd just suggested. It'd put his beloved boss in prison for God knew how long. But for some reason, he didn't care. Randall was here, now, and he needed help. Waternoose wasn't. Waternoose was miles away, probably at home in his veritable mansion. And now that he'd put Randall in such a terrible position, maybe even hoping to get richer.

"Conspiring to commit murder," Randall said in a small voice. Then, "I guess that's all I can do. After this, I deserve to be in prison." He looked up at Sulley, eyes wide and almost innocent-looking. "You wouldn't... er... agree to be, like, a... character witness, or something, would you? To help me get bail if I don't get let off?"

Sulley almost laughed, in spite of everything. The very question had been so un-Randall-ish... but then, it was a step in the right direction. "Yeah, of course," he said with a smile.

Very briefly, Randall returned the smile. Then he looked back down at the water-blackened concrete. "Thanks."

There was a silence. Finally, Sulley had to break it. "So... you're gonna stay?"

Randall swallowed, wrapping his arms around himself. "Yeah, I am."

And Sulley felt a wave of relief wash over him. Though logically, he knew this whole thing was far from over, he felt a warm certainty settling over him. Everything would be alright. Eventually. Randall could rebuild his life from the rubble, and make it different. Better, for everyone. And he could help.

The two of them stood, side-by-side in the rain, leaning against a beat-up old city car that he later learned to be Fungus's, for what seemed like an age. But at last, it grew too cold for Sulley.

"Let's go in," he said to Randall, shaking his head slightly to rid it of some of the water.

Randall bit his lip. "I'm gonna stay out here a bit longer."

"Why?"

The lizard monster shrugged. "I feel... better in the rain. It's, um..."

Sulley cut him off. They'd been out here for at least an hour, he guessed. Enough was enough. "No," he said firmly, shaking his head, "Come on. It's freezing out here. You'll get sick. You _are_ sick," he added, remembering the earlier bouts of coughing.

Randall's shoulders slumped in defeat. "All right, fine."

And the two monsters retreated from the frigid gloom, one following the other.

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Well, there you go! I'm thinking I may end it there, but then again, maybe not. I'd appreciate your opinion on that score in reviews.

Please tell me what you think of it!

Lovin' you all,

Till My Head Falls Off


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